


A Lost Song

by TheLovelyStarlight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Death, Depressing, Depression, Gone Wrong Au, Quote: "If you were here I might even give you a hug" "I'm here", Sadness, Song Parody, You might cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22581424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLovelyStarlight/pseuds/TheLovelyStarlight
Summary: Lapis hated the fact that diamond creature had survived and not Steven.But maybe... that was more so of a cruse than she ever realized before.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	A Lost Song

**Author's Note:**

> AU is not mine but by @suaugoneworng on Tumblr. Go check them out!

Lapis hated it, she hated everything that was now. Even after they saved the day, even after her friends stopped Earth from being destroyed, even after what seemed to be the happily ever after, it still feels like they lost. They did lose in the end. Didn't they?

Cause the three of them were here, the other ones are fine, but Steven... is gone.

He was murdered by Spinel just three months ago, died at the age of sixteen and at the time homeworld was finally placed in Era 3. 

It was so painful, still so terribly raw and brittle to even stand where he once stood. Everyone was scared from the lost, damaged from the outcome of faith like the scar that now was in Temple hill. Time was pasting, but it was tortuously slow and sadly bleak. Nights were clouded with tears and screams while the sun hid in the shadows of frowns and painted sorrows. The air was cold, but honestly Lapis wished it was colder. She wished it was painful to even take a breath in like for the humans were held close to the hybrid as well. She wished for the tides to sting and from the rain to feel like knives to cut her gem. She wished to hurt outside rather than inside, cause the pain within was so much worse than she had ever felt before. She didn't know how to feel honestly. She felt angry like Connie, upset like Lars and Sadie, and worse she felt lost and broken like Greg. She felt it all and ten times more heavier. A being of water and she no longer had tears to shed, but she wish that she still did. Three months wasn't enough. It honestly felt like it was only three hours ago, back when she was trying to heal his pale and cold body, back when she didn't feel so worthless.

Lapis wasn't the only one who felt this lost. She watched everyone around her weep and sob her hearts out, becoming so undone that if they had gems they would have poofed. It wasn't just Steven who was lost, but the others as well. Everyone cried for the gems before them. The original gems who raised the star child. Even though they walked, spoke, and acted like nothing was wrong didn't mean that they were still there. It was like they died along with their child, their friend, and in a way their son. They were in the shadows now, and buried along with the boy everyone held dear. Peridot had become almost lost in her works and plants, as if she wasn't there fully anymore. When it would rain, she would stand there in it, looking up at the sky as it shed tears along with her. Bismuth pushes forward to run HomeSchool as ever speaks of their hero and former young Diamond, the gray gem bitter but pushing to follow the teen's mission.Others have fell to depression, while some just felt too bitter to move forward. Everyone in town, every person who held the star dear now were only ghost of themselves. Everyone felt hurt for the lost.

Everyone... but _him_...

Lapis hates him. She doesn't even know if she should even call him a male. He was just a thing, an it and nothing more in her eyes. Even though Peri and Bismuth told her to leave him be, the water gem could help but feel hate for every time she saw it around. It was everywhere, walking around and silent like a sore thumb. She hated looking at its eyes, blank and almost non judging. She knew better though and she knew it was judging her just as much as it did everyone else. It didn't feel anything for anyone, even when Connie or even Greg tried to speak to it. They cry to it, speak to it, act like it was even a _person_.

It never responses, and if it did, it never cared for them. Didn't mean she didn't see it walking around inside the temple, acting like it was him. Lapis hated to see it sitting on couch and petting Cat Steven with gentle hands, sitting in Steven's bed with such a blank and almost distance look on its face, or even trying to sit with Connie for her comfort or letting Greg hug it. She felt nothing but burning fury for that being, that creature.

How dare it try to be like Steven!? How dare it walking around act like Steven!? How dare does it even call itself Steven!?

"Lapis...?"

The blue gem jumped from her thoughts, turning over to see Peridot walking up to her. The green gem looked worn out and dreadful. She was wearing a new form for herself, seeing it to be a star t-shirt and skin tight jeans with sandals. Her new form was just like Steven's old outfit, making it worse was the dark green bags now under her eyes. Her visors removed three months. 

Lapis, calming down, sighs and nods at the green gem. "Peridot. Do you need something?"

Peridot shook her head, saying, "No, but... Don't you hear it?"

"Huh," The blue gem was thrown back by her question, quickly asking, "Hear what? Peri... are you okay?"

"I am, but... He's singing Lapis, don't you hear him," She asked softly, smiling a bit sadly as she pointed at the edge of the hill. She was pointing where it was standing out, facing the ocean.

Lapis frowned deeply, turning away from the pink creature as she growled and crossed her arms. "So what? I rather not be around that disgusting... thing! You know I don't like it around us."

Peridot, besides just looking meek and upset like she use to be, she looked even more sad and upset at her friend. It was a sad look as if she was worried for Lapis which threw the blue gem into slightly confusion. Instead of answering her though, Peri just walked pass her and towards the pink being behind her. The blue gem took a look back, shocked that her friend was walking towards it besides hiding from it. Out of all of them, it was the green gem who was scared of it more. She couldn't blame her though, knowing that the being was basically a Diamond would send anyone away in fear if they were smart. Still, it shocked and even scared the gem why she was walking so calmly towards the thing. She didn't want her to be hurt like last time.

Lapis turned and moved quickly to try and stop her from getting closer to the creature, but Peridot just shrugged her hands away, stopping just about three feet from the pink being. the being didn't turn to look at them, only facing the ocean with its pink jacket blowing in the wind. The blue water witch was happy she couldn't see his face, not wanting to see the one they lost. The face of their loved one she all but blames it for.

However, when she tried to move Peridot away from it, Lapis heard something off in the wind. It was soft, slow but loud enough for her to understand that it was humming. She looked to where it was coming from, seeing the only source was the pink bring before them. It was humming, soft and gentle. It shocked her. For all the time she had been around the thing, more than she wants to, she honestly never heard it hum a tune before. She heard it speak at times and it was normally just one word or sentence, but to hear singing was something else. It hit something else in her, something that remembered her of Steven. It sounded so much like the hybrid. It sounded too much like him. She hated it! She hated the thing even more to even dare to hum and sing like him. 

Lapis growled, going to pull at the pink monster and tell it, scream at it to stop. Just as she was about to touch his shoulder, she saw the creature shift and a soft voice taking over the humming tune.

_ "Musing through memories...  
Losing my grip in the grey..." _

Lapis stopped, her breath caught in her throat. Peridot tensed as well. They knew it heard her, they both knew that he only stopped for a second cause he heard her make a sound. It didn't move though, instead he just continued. Voice still soft and almost drone of emotion.

_"Numbing the senses...  
I feel you slipping away..."_

_ "Fighting to hold on.  
Clinging to just one more day...  
Love turns to ashes,  
With all that I wish I could say..." _

The being placed its hands in his jacket, looking out into the ocean as its voice grew louder.

_ "I'd die to be where you are  
I tried to be where you are." _

_"Every night... I dream you're still here.  
The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear.  
When I awake, you'll disappear,  
Back to the shadows,  
With all I hold, dear.  
With all I hold, dear..  
I dream you're still here..."_

_ "I dream you're still here..." _ _  
_

Lapis felt her gem pinch and ache, and she was for sure that Peridot whimpered. This song, it cut too deep to them, it stabbed at something still raw and painful. The pink being didn't seem to notice or just care about the pain they felt, still looking forward. They knew who the being was singing to, but the blue gem wondered even why. It had no feelings, it had no sens of lost like they did. Why did it sing for something it didn't even need?

The being wouldn't answer that question, singing as if it was alone.

_ "Hidden companion...  
Phantom be still in my heart.  
Make me a promise that  
Time won't erase us." _

_ "That we were not lost from the start."  
_

It did though, at least that's what Lapis believed. She wondered now... did it still cling to him? Did it still wish to be with him? Why...?

_ "I'd die to be where you are  
I tried to be where you are..." _

Then they both jumped, shocked to hear the being voice pick up and change. It changed from drone like, soft and gentle, to loud and filled with emotion. 

_ "Every night I dream you're still here!  
The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear!  
When I awake, you'll disappear...  
Back to the shadows,  
With all I hold, dear.  
With all I hold, dear.  
I dream you're still here..." _

_ "I dream you're still here..."  
_

Lapis frowned in such confusion and honestly, sadness. Was this being really missing him? It's voice, for the first time in forever, it was speaking with emotions. The emotions felt and sounded so raw, so painful, it cut trough her barely healing wounds and twisted at them only to make them deeper. It was feeling and singing with so more pain and lost that she even wonder how it kept its cool and drone of emotion for so long. The song, it even hurt her way more than she though it would. even more so when she realized it was his voice that the being sung in. It was song for him, but sung by him. It felt all too real for what happened to them. 

Peridot seemed to be the only one noticing that her and Lapis were shedding tears. She nothing about it.

_ "Ever slightly out of reach  
I dream you're still here..." _

It reached out, out to the sun setting ocean waters, almost as if it was trying to grab for someone who wasn't there. the reach looking almost desperate. 

_ "But it breaks so easily  
I try to protect you..." _

_ "I can't let you fade!  
I feel you slipping!" _

_ "I feel you slipping away..." _

Lapis and Peridot then just walked up to him, seeing him grow silent for a minute. Both of the gems looked finally at the being, seeing nothing but Steven's face. the pink being just continued to look out into the ocean, his hand still outstretched to see grab someone. they both knew who he was grabbing for, who he finally was showing emotion too. It was almost like they can see who the pink diamond was reaching out to. 

They saw, in their own versions, was none other than Steven. He wasn't covered in blood, wasn't losing his left arm or the gaping hole in his chest. No they saw him standing there, facing the three and smiling almost sadly at them with his hands in his jacket. He gave them a sad but sheepish look on his face, like almost to say sorry but trying to find away to make them stop crying. They didn't see pain in his body, they didn't want to see pain at all, so the steven they saw didn't show it. He continued to smile, continue to look at them as his body shifted and turned away from them. He looked sad, but continued to smile before turning fully away from them, his foot picking up and stepping forward. Forward and away.

Almost as if they were all seeing this Steven, Peridot shouted and reached out just like the pink steven next to them, Lapis quickly following suit. They screamed, cried out for him not to go, but it was like he couldn't hear them. They saw him walk away, his hands now out of his jacket and walking forward to whatever he was seeing. He lifted his hands up, almost as if he was grabbing hold of someone else.

Then a white hand glowed on his left, a red on his right, and purple hands on his right side of his jacket.

They still cried, but the two looked out in shock, almost not believe what they were seeing as the hands took shape.Pink steven just frowned, the look now just completely sorrow and pain. He fell to his knees, wanting to sob tears he couldn't bring out, but instead he lifted his head and continued to sing.

_ "Every night I dream you're still here!  
The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear.  
When I awake, you'll disappear...  
Back to the shadows,  
With all I hold, dear.  
With all I hold, dear.  
I dream you're still here..." _

_"I dream you're still here!"_

Lapis and Peridot look down at the pink being, the first no longer feeling anger for the creature but rather nothing but sadness for him. They looked out into the ocean with him, seeing the boy walking away from them, slipping away from them forever. They sung too.

_"Every night I dream you're still...  
Every night I dream you're still here..."_

Pink Steven saw his human half leaving him, and continued to watch him go. He screamed in complete pain, _"I dream you're still here!"_

_"Every night I dream you're still...  
Every night i dream you're still here..."_

He reaches out one last time, almost begging for his human half to turn around, for steven not to go. "Ever slightly out of reach..."

 _"I dream you're still here..._  
Every night I dream you're still...  
Every night I dream you're still here..."

 _"B-But it breaks so easily..."_ Pink Steven mumbles out brokenly, dropping his hand to his side as he watched his human half no longer there. He tried to cry, tried to show some sort of emotion that his human half would show for others, but at last he could never cry again, never shed a tear for his other half.

Peridot and Lapis saw this too, seeing steven walk away with three of the being he saw as family, fading away as the sun finally disappeared inside the horizon. They both just stood there, crying and sniffling as they looked down at the pink being next to them. They saw him just starring out into the sky, his eyes widen and utterly broken. the green gem just turned away, crying more as the wounds hurt her once more. The other though, just continued to look down at the pink being. He looked so broken, so lost now and just forever trapped in pain. Even though he couldn't cry, it was almost like she could see the water run down his face. She could tell he wanted to cry, to sob and shout like they had done for his half, but he couldn't do that. She felt her gem hurt more for him, for the first time since she first saw him, Lapis truly felt sorry for him. How can they weep for the boy they loved and held dear, when his other half couldn't do the same. They had each other, but Pink Steven... Steven... will forever be broken and lost.

With a soft sigh, Lapis slowly kneeled down to Pink Steven, placing a hand on his cold shoulder. He blinked, looking towards her as his broken face slowly turned to blankness. She frowned, not wanting to see that face again. Instead, she closed her eyes and pulled him into a hug. Peridot was shocked, as was Pink Steven. The Diamond almost couldn't compute on what was happening to the blue gem, seeing for a second if she was cracked. He looked at the blue gem, confused but silent.

Knowing he wouldn't speak, Lapis said softly, "I'm sorry..."

It wasn't an apology for how much she treated him. It wasn't an apology for anger she lashed out at him. No... it was a sorry for losing what he lost. For losing Steven.

Pink Steven looked at the blue gem, his pink diamond eyes slowly showing a soft light to them. A tinkle of a star now so far away. He sighed and slowly hugged the gem back, mumbling, "...Me too..."

Lapis didn't bother to stop her new waves of tears and neither could Peridot. The two gems continued to cry as they clung to Pink Steven tightly, the two hugging him as he hugged them back. He held on to them, stroked their backs and let them sob for Steven. The wounds, they were still fresh and the lost was still too raw to get over. Even after three months of peace, none them believe they would really get over this and move on, not even another six thousand years to come.

Pink Steven, for once in a long time, knew that he was truly broken without Steven. For if he couldn't cry for his half, then he would never heal. The pain would be there forever, and he would be lost to ever try and heal it.

**_Fin..._ **

**_In parody to Gone Wrong AU and song Still Here by Digital Daggers_ **


End file.
